Eat Meati Classic Cutlets: The oil splatters were worth it

I heard about Eat Meati in VegNews and when I saw it at the Coop didn’t think twice before tossing the Classic Cutlets and Crispy Cutlets into the basket

Which I briefly regretted when I got home and got around to looking at the directions.

Because I’m lazy.

I expect to see directions for cooking by microwave (I always skip over the cooking by stove portion of directions).

Only there was no microwave option for Eat Meati. Only skillet or grill.

I have no grill so that means I had to heat up some oil on the skillet. The directions called for a tablespoon and I cut that by half. Thank goodness I did or I might have needed a hazmat suit to protect me from the oil splatters to come.

Here are the Eat Meati cutlets — looking a bit like frozen fish cutlets. More on that later.

Eleven minutes and a few curse words from oil burns later, and dinner was served.

The oil splatters were worth it.

Eat Meati is 95% mushroom root. So this would not qualify as plant-based as we’re actually eating fungi, which I realize may not make the meal sound more appetizing. Only it is. And fungi is friggin’ amazing. You have to read Entangled Life — all about fungi (mycelium) and how it quite literarily holds our planet together.

The texture of these cutlets was less like chicken and more like fish, which was ultimately a great thing. They were plenty firm yet not tough to cut through with a fork and make a nice addition to a bed of rice or salad.

The bed for my cutlets was a plate (lazy, remember). But even with little seasoning beyond salt they were delicious. I eventually added Chipotle Veganaise.

I wouldn’t say Eat Meati is just like eating chicken — you can go to Beyond Meat for that — I’d say Eat Meati is better than chicken. That’s the thing about fake meats — the companies that make it must begin with a frame of reference, such as chicken, but that doesn’t mean the food itself has to taste exactly like chicken to be amazing. As a longtime vegan, I would take Eat Meati over Daring Chicken because Daring tastes a bit too much like chicken.

Now, I will note that the directions need some improving. Buried in the fine print is that they recommend thawing the cutlets in the fridge first — that would have reduced the splatter as well. But now that I know this and I will be sure to thaw the Crispy Cutlets for tackling them.

Oil splatters be damned. Eat Meati is well worth it.